The farm house

The farm house

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Face the fear or buy a better ladder.

I decided to create a small enclosure for my sheep, near, the barn but not attached to the barn. This means, they will have to be herded to their " area". It will be 4 strands of electric tape fencing. If that doesn't keep them in, perhaps a concrete block wall might. In order to enclose the sheep, I needed to get the step-in posts from the loft above the barn. We are talking about 14 feet in height, not terribly high. It was cool & windy when I decided to venture out. The sun had been playing hide&goseek with my laundry all morning so I thought I best get on with it. I took the ladder from the barn and placed it below the entrance to the loft. As I put my foot on the first rung, the ladder moved. Not just a bit but quite a bit...I believe that this was the ladder that my husband fell onto when he rolled off the lower ledge of the chicken coop....another story for another time.... I repositioned the ladder & wondered if it was the ladder or the wind? The ground is never ever flat where you need to work. I try again. I go up a few rungs and the ladder seems to want to walk away from the barn. This leaves me with a gap that I don't feel comfortable with trying to gain access to a hole 14 feet above the ground.

My middle son is working on his truck in the machine shed nearby. I yell for him. Nothing. I yell again. He saunters over and says: "What?" If I could I would smack him as I believe what I want is rather obvious. "Please hold the ladder so that I can gain access to the poles up there or do you want to do it?" He rearranges the ladder. I sart to climb.."Aren't you going to hold it?" I ask. "What are you afraid of- falling, it's not that high." Yes. I am afraid of falling. I give him a look. He holds the ladder until I am partly into the loft and then he walks away. As I crawl into the opening, the ladder moves. I hasten my way- the ladder is still upright but now my issue is how to get down without killing myself?? I mutter a few curse words and set about locating the posts. I launch them out forgetting there are chickens below and I am reminded of this with hearing a few squawks. "Oops, sorry!" I exclaim to whichever chicken I may have startled.

Now I turn myself and sit on the ledge of the opening and gaze out. Nice view, would be better without some of the branches but how often will I be sitting up here... The longer I sit, the more I realize that it isn't that high, really. I think to myself that I've jumped higher on a trampoline, I've dismounted from uneven bars close to this height, I've jumped out of a window of a 3 story building...add "when I was younger" to all this and I think we all get the picture. I decide to make my way down the ladder. Before I take the first step, I see a truck driving by a little slower than normal. Great, it's my neighbour. Probably wondering what the cityot is up to today. If I don't move, will he not see me..oh please don't wave...And he waves. I've been spotted. Red plaid running shoes dangling out of the loft.

It is my fault. I always seem to give the locals something to talk about. But then again, I am quite comfortable being the crazy woman with all the critters in the haunted house...I think there's a word for it but no one dare say it.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance

As the title may suggest, I have suffered another loss of a family member. An unavoidable phenomenon that unfortunately seems to be occuring more frequently. A few more empty seats at the dining table for the family get togethers. As I listened to the mass, I created mental notes of what I would like if it were to be my wake. The voice in my head says: "Who cares- you'll be gone!"

 Well, it certainly had me pondering, after experiencing the loss of a few loved ones, what is it that makes this experience so sad? The voice replies:"Duh, because you're losing someone, hence why they say they're gone, departed..." I don't like the voice's tone. I ponder this more as someone recites the beatitudes. Not a religious person, but I've been to more of these "Celebrations of life"that I feel I could probably give one should the pastor be stuck in traffic.

If I haven't seen someone in some time & learn of their death, I may shed a few tears. It's not the frequency or the location but more so how deep the relationship that triggers the internal grief button. What that person has meant to me, what experiences we've shared. The closer they are, the more difficultt o imagine your life without them. Circumstances seem to play a part in attibuting sadness. An accident, a young person, a person suffering etc...Ultimately, it is selfish but understood & accepted. A rite of passag as it is part of existing.

At this moment, I still become teary-eyd but it is getting better. I really should be looking for employment but battering my self-esteem seems so counterproductive and not the postive enrgy boost I require right now.
As for my one celebration of life, it will indeed be just that. Just you be fortunate enough to be left behind for it, I hope you will enjoy the bagpipes and the scotch. Drinks are on me!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

September...

So the beginning of September is leaving me with much chagrin. A loss of employment, consequently loss of funds, projects that are not turning out quite as expected-such is my life. If it wasn't for having to eat, we could possibly live on 1 salary... but the way things are going, prices increase, pay stays the sameor less in my case & that's where the problems occur. The knitting I can fix, the job thiug isn't such a quick fix.

Alas, the knitting part is what bothers me the most. I cast on with some handpainted yarn to make a shawl. After 1.5 repeats, the colors started to pool despite the fact that there were 4 increases every other row. I've used this type of yern before in other shawls & scarves with pleasing results. So, a note on the pattern for future as well as the yarn. After that, I decided that I should piece together a vest that I had knit. Cables at the front & back, to be seamed together with a 3 needle bind off. Nothing tricky here except that the bloody cables don't line up at the shoulders. That goes for both fronts!! Bugger! A note written on that pattern also. Yes it's a relatively easy fix but it shouldn't have happened. Perhaps it was the knitter? Possibly but if it happened accurately on both pieces of the front, I somehow doubt it.Hmm.

Last but not least, I am attempting mittens- fox & geese pattern. Of course, I see a mistake a few rows down- probably due to the fact that I tried to make these on my lunch breaks in a place I hate. So, after I've conducted my job search for today, I will repair mittens & continue with a scarf I've started as a gift for someone who does not celebrate Christmas but will get it by then anyway- a token of appreciation! It's not a complicated pattern but reversible. Seems safe given the difficulties I've been experiencing.

Alas, sheep breeding season is but a few months away. I am leaning toward purchasing new and having them bred than sending my girls out. Of course, I will need to really turn the couch cushions inside out for that to take place. The prices are dropping this Fall due to the drought. So, if anyone can think of possible employment opportunities for me, you can help(enable)add more fleece=wool=knitting to my flock & consequently into your hands. Sounds like a win-win doesn't it? Anyone? Buehler?