The farm house

The farm house

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Quiet Easter Sunday

It is Easter Sunday and there is no hunting for hidden eggs, candy or otherwise. The boys are grown and such traditions are left to the younger members of the family. My regular egg hunt takes place in the barn. Incidentally I have eggs that should hatch today and tomorrow! Barnyard mix from a different barnyard so it should be a bit different from the mix I have.

Perhaps I should visit my Mother, who I have placed in a long term care residence. That took place on my Birthday of all days. I wrote about this on Facebook not to garner sympathy but to prove that things happen regardless if the sun shines or lightning strikes or it's your birthday etc... Life is like that and if you are a devoted reader, you will see that I frequently say "Things happen for a reason although the reason may not be evident right away." And I continue to believe this is true. Since October, I have had to make difficult decisions rooted in emotion. Those are the most difficult ones. But, if you have a goal or know the best outcome should be, decision making becomes easier and something that one needs not agonize for a lengthy time. Since then, I seem to have become a little more self-assured to the point of being bold when it comes to the workplace. I am now fighting for a higher position or two and fight I will. Tired of being overlooked and not satisfied with the voices that say" at least you still have a job"I will continue to challenge management until I see what I want in way of remuneration. Oh, where did that quiet girl go??

This sudden assertiveness has helped me deal with my Mother also. She calls, says nasty things and hangs up. She can't manage to leave a proper message. Last weekend, I calmly told her while explaining to her why she can't go home. Of course she was angry but she needed to hear the truth instead of the sugar-coated half truths that everyone is feeding her. I wasn't mean, I had answers for all her questions and she proved to me yet again that her ability to think has been severely impaired. I told her to look around the residence. Everyone there would like to go home also but it's just not meant to be.

Meanwhile, no lambs, no wool has been skirted, washed, nothing. I am exhausted physically and mentally and need some time to think through my next steps. I have very little inventory for the next Farmers' market season but I did break down and start knitting a pair of socks for "myself". Baby steps in the healing process of having to make the difficult decisions and awaiting the next ones.